I'm not perfect. I know that, I mess up. A lot. Probably more then anyone should be allowed to. But I try to make up for it. I'm there for my friends, through anything. I'm willing to do anything for the people I care about... anything. And I'm hoping that someday that will make up for all the mistakes in my past.

It's been a good couple days. I got called into work Tuesday because Jen didn't schedule enough people. Then on Wednesday I got off, Jess worked for me. So I walked down to Kaylas. Victoria was there too. So you know us three just hung out. Talked a lot about old memories from last summer. It was fun. That night me and Kayla went to see Mamma Mia! Yes, that would be my second time seeing it, but I can't help it. That movie is amazing. Kayla hadn't seen it, so I figured why not? :]  So we see the movie, and I'm basicaly in love, you have no idea. My mom picks us up around 9:30ish and we take Kayla home. I come homeand go upstairs watch Meet The Robinsons, and do some reading.

Yesterday, I spent the entire day on the computer. I watched Picture This, and Charlie Bartlett. Both amazing movies! Then I went to work. It was such a boring night. Came home, did some reading. Passed out around midnight.

Today. Probably doing the exact same thing I did yesterday. Except I'm not watching those movies. Instead I'm looking at possible books I could buy. :]

 I'm not going anywhere. This is it for me. You're it for me and I can't pretend to feel any less then I do. I'm sorry, I just can't.

Yesterday was an amazing day. I was supposed to go to the Millvale fair with Mel and Kayla. Kayla ended up going to the movies with her parents and Mel wasn't allowed to go. So I ended up having to go to this party thing over at my Opa's. I was dreading going there. I was like I don't know anybody, I'm going to sit in a corner all by myself. I spent the day upstairs with Ricky, Dave, Tim and Tim's little sister. I developed a crush on this Tim boy. He's just so cute. And god, I haven't smiled this much since Derek. I keep gigling, and I'm so lame. But I love it. So I go home and I was up until 2 am talking to him. We came to the conclusion, I like him, he likes me. But we're not sure what's going to happen. He lives liek a half hour away. So I really don't know...

Today. I'm probably just gonna talk to Tim some more and do some reading.

 I'm so sick of the dirty looks, and all the things I hear you say behind my back. I'm tired of how you act when I come around for even five seconds. I wish it wasn't like this, because I really do think of myself as a good person, but I guess this is all up to you.

Last night was actually kind of fun. Solerto never came over. Apparently her grandma came up, so she wasn't allowed to come down. That totally bites, but whatever. I'm sure we'll hang out soon. At least I hope we do. I spent most of my night on the computer, talking to Thornton, and watching Veronica Mars. I'm in the middle of watching Veronica Mars and my moms liek "Hey, we're going to Brusters. Want to go?" Of course I want to go. Who turns down Brusters? Nobody, that's who. So we go, it's me my mom and Doug. I got Cotton Candy Explosion. Probably the best thing I have ever had. We come home. I go up into my room and watch some more Veronica Mars. I went to bed around midnight.

I woke up around 9 this morning. Got dressed and ready and grabbed Cj. McConville wanted to meet him so I took him up to the school. Probably the worst idea I have ever had. No lie. He has a thing for chasing cars. So he almost got hit like ten cars. Yeah, that's not good. McConville was like in love with him. I told her she could have him, yet I still have the dog. From all the walking and running around he was exhausted. We get to the top of the hill to go to my street and he just stops and lays down. So I had to carry him down the hill since he wouldn't move. Now I'm home, and just kind of sitting here.

I think that's what's wrong with the world; no one says what they feel, they always hold it inside. They're sad, but they don't cry. They're happy, but they don't sing or dance. They're angry, but they don't scream. 'Cause if they do, they feel ashamed. And that's the worst feeling in the world. So everyone walks with their heads down and no one sees how beautiful the sky really is.

I'm so sick of drama I really am. Me and Thornton, are no longer friends. I know I've already said that in here, but it's kind of a funny situation. I honestly don't care. I walk into school, happy as hell like I always do, and I plain just don't care. I've been having so much fun with Abby and Mel. Those two; god I don't know what I would do without them. But now Thornton is starting all this shit. Like Mel's friends with her too. Tomorrow is our kennywood picnic and Mel wants to hang out with me and Abby. Mel tells Thornton this today and she's liek "That's fine, but I better not be with you when I'm with you because I'll punch her." Mel's like 'So you're making me choose?" "Yes." "I choose them." Mel chose us because we didn't make her choose. I could care less if you're friends with Thornton. This is bull. Ugh.

Talent show tonight with sherman and Abby. I'm excited. :] 

My head still turns when I hear a car door close, then I remember it's not you; you don't come around anymore.

It's been a weird couple of days. I don't really have a lot of time to update before I head off to work. So let's do this fast.

Saturday: Abby came over. We just hung out, spent the entire day watching Rosswell and listening to music from the nineties. It's amazing how we can do the same thing every single weekend and never get sick of each other. I love it. Then at night we made a bonfire. :]

Monday: The day went by totally normal. Nothing out of the ordinary until work. I get this text from Thornton, saying she can't trust me and she thinks everything I say is a lie. And how I ignore her when she talks about Derek. Which is totally true. But he's my ex, what does she want from me? So basicaly that ended our friendship.

Tuesday: I go into school gave her the key back. It was a joke which we bought saying we carried the key to each others heart. So I walked in and said "Here you broke up with me so I feel obligated to give this to you." I don't know when I'm going to timne to update again. So sorry. God I wish I had more time for this, right now I really need some journal of sort. I might even start jumping on for a half-hour after work every day. I need this. There's so much I want to write but I don't have time. :/'

 

Your text messages still fill my inbox. I haven't got the strength to delete them yet. I don't want to forget how things used to be.

Life's been pretty good.
Best friend ungrounded.
Guitar hero came yesterday, that was actually really fun.
I'm quite addicted.
Oh god this can't be good.

Today was entertaining to say the least.
After school me and Abby are joking around about the musical. We're fighting/but not really if that makes any sense. 
Then she's like "YOU KNOW WHAT FINE? I'LL JUST INVITE SEAN!" I'm liek "FINE ABBY! I'LL INVITE DEREK!" Kayla pops out of nowhere. "YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING." Lol. 
I love my friends. 

My grades have gone up too. I just need to pull English and Math up to a D and everything will be A okay.

Tonight? Nothing much. 
Guitar hero.
Texting Kayla.
Getting camera fixed?
I love life. :]